Sunday, August 17, 2003
So, school starts Monday. Sucks, eh? That's.. uh.. I'm going to be AT school in...32 hours! Oh my gosh!!!! *cries* I really don't want to go, you can't understand how much I mean that statement. Yes, in some ways I am looking forward to it. Like, the first day of school is always.. you know, it has that feeling. I'm just not ready for the WORK part of school. I love being lazy. And by lazy, I mean working my ass off on Dance Dance, or fighting and making up with my wonderful boyfriend, or playing Magic, or other such things. It doesn't even feel like it's time for back to school. I haven't even been BACK-TO-SCHOOL-SHOPPING!!!!!! *gasp!*
Everything's just so insane and messed up. I don't know what's going on. And my schedule on Edline isn't completed, so I don't know what the rest of my classes are.
I probably should be going to bed but I really don't feel like it. But, c'mon, it's my very last Saturday night of freedom. You know? And I want to stay up for it. Even though my boyfriend told me to go to bed early. Ha, I swear, sometimes he acts more like my father than my boyfriend. But, then again, I treat him like I'm his mom all the time, so I guess we're even. Relationships are the weirdest thing. And I realized something. The third month is the toughest. Atleast, it's the first big hurdle. Because my first relationship only lasted to three and a half months. That was the tough one, and we just weren't strong enough to withstand it. We weren't really right for eachother, either, so obviously.. And now I'm in my three and a half month phase with this, my third boyfriend, and it's really tough. We fight all the time for no reason, and I just don't know. But I think we're going to make it through. I can't really see us NOT making it through. And no matter how many times he says "Well why don't you just break up with me then!" and no matter how many times I may *think* about it, I just can't imagine that it would happen. I know that I am going to go back to school and he will be there with me. And I know that next week at lunch he's going to be sitting with me. It's just kind of...a given, I guess. It's just the way things have to be. I love him too much to allow myself to think that it can be any other way. And it doesn't hurt to think like that. Anyone that tells you it does, and not to get your hopes up, is f*in' retarded, because hope is all you have, right? WELL...that's not *all* you have, but it's one good thing. And lots of little good things add up to lots of good. So every little bit helps.
Okay, since my prayers for my boyfriend to go home and get online are not going to be answered, I guess I'll just go ahead and go to bed. Maybe. Eventually. I'll watch this ET celebrity weddings thingie and surf the net some more and THEN go...hah..
~Cj
Everything's just so insane and messed up. I don't know what's going on. And my schedule on Edline isn't completed, so I don't know what the rest of my classes are.
I probably should be going to bed but I really don't feel like it. But, c'mon, it's my very last Saturday night of freedom. You know? And I want to stay up for it. Even though my boyfriend told me to go to bed early. Ha, I swear, sometimes he acts more like my father than my boyfriend. But, then again, I treat him like I'm his mom all the time, so I guess we're even. Relationships are the weirdest thing. And I realized something. The third month is the toughest. Atleast, it's the first big hurdle. Because my first relationship only lasted to three and a half months. That was the tough one, and we just weren't strong enough to withstand it. We weren't really right for eachother, either, so obviously.. And now I'm in my three and a half month phase with this, my third boyfriend, and it's really tough. We fight all the time for no reason, and I just don't know. But I think we're going to make it through. I can't really see us NOT making it through. And no matter how many times he says "Well why don't you just break up with me then!" and no matter how many times I may *think* about it, I just can't imagine that it would happen. I know that I am going to go back to school and he will be there with me. And I know that next week at lunch he's going to be sitting with me. It's just kind of...a given, I guess. It's just the way things have to be. I love him too much to allow myself to think that it can be any other way. And it doesn't hurt to think like that. Anyone that tells you it does, and not to get your hopes up, is f*in' retarded, because hope is all you have, right? WELL...that's not *all* you have, but it's one good thing. And lots of little good things add up to lots of good. So every little bit helps.
Okay, since my prayers for my boyfriend to go home and get online are not going to be answered, I guess I'll just go ahead and go to bed. Maybe. Eventually. I'll watch this ET celebrity weddings thingie and surf the net some more and THEN go...hah..
~Cj
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
Oh, my god. Wait, I already said that at the begining of my last post. Oh well. Anyway, you wouldn't believe what I just found out. My very own mother donated TWENTY DOLLARS to the MHHS Football Team!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!! Why?! A curse on all football players and cheerleaders! God damn elitest stuck-up shallow bastards and high-strung makeup-clad skin-baring fake-tanning bitches. Yeah, so I'm opinionated. So it's not the greatest way to live through highschool, but I don't give a shit. I'm going to be honest about how I feel. The football program has ruined our school system. We have changed our teaching methods to get money, not to teach better, as some believe. But why do we need this money? To support the football program. Why do the band kids hate band? Because of marching season, which is FOR FOOTBALL. There are schools in Canada (and I don't care how much you think Canada sucks, their school system is amazing) where there is no marching band, because there is no football, and if there is, it's just not that important. You know what their music program is like? In fourth grade they learn to play recorders, in fifth they learn the auto-harp, in sixth they learn the ukulele, and in 7th & 8th they learn guitar. Do you know what they do in highschool? They get to be in a band, and practice at school. There are different kind of bands, like a jazz band, or a rock band, or whatever, and there are also different bands for different grades. You can play the electric guitar, you can play the drums, bass, whatever. Like REAL music... All of this, and it's at SCHOOL. And no, not some fancy private school for the children of the rich and famous. A regular, normal public school. *sigh* Okay, I'm going to quit bitching about that. I have something else to bitch about.
My boyfriend and I had two kittens that we loved and cherished and so on and so forth. Now the girl that gave them to us has stolen them back, and refuses to return them. I called the police to inform them and ask what they could do. It turns out that if an animal is involved, it is, apparently, not considered kidnapping OR stealing. So I'm going to have to threaten them or something. I have to get my babies back...
*weeps for her missing children*
~Cj
My boyfriend and I had two kittens that we loved and cherished and so on and so forth. Now the girl that gave them to us has stolen them back, and refuses to return them. I called the police to inform them and ask what they could do. It turns out that if an animal is involved, it is, apparently, not considered kidnapping OR stealing. So I'm going to have to threaten them or something. I have to get my babies back...
*weeps for her missing children*
~Cj
